If time could rewind, I'd go back to 2008, I'd be a better sister to Bernie, relive P5 camp, stop Aiswarya from leaving, beat Rosyth in that debate, get that bracelet from Stan, do better in scrabble, take back what I shouted at Nicole, relive the stuff that Phyllis and I went through. I'd still go to SMSS, but I wouldn't have irritated the band as much, I would try to be more normal, someone they could accept, and maybe would have gotten better grades. Though I wouldn't have quit my CCA. But it's all too late. What's most too late is for me to be a good daughter through all those times. I'm sorry, but I can't.

I'm sorry I'm not good enough now. I knew from the beginning that I'll never learn how to play the piano well, nor do maths, nor be pretty like you when you were younger. I know I'm clumsy, fat, stupid, naive and ignorant. I can't help it, I'm born like that. I'm horrible. I'm pathetic. I've been told that before. I'm sorry for everything that I've put you through.

But I want to be selfish. I want to prove to you that even the most pathetic of humans have talent, dreams; a future. So I'll stay. I'll stay and I'll fight with your insults, your disappointment, your suicidal threats. It might be worth it. No, it's GOING TO BE worth it. I'll use every part of myself. Right down to my very heart and soul. I'll show you that I'm braver than you are, even though I can't stand the sight of a butterfly.

I'll experience forbidden love, rebelliousness, student petitions and revolts, hard work, an A for maths (which you never got.), singing competitions, writing competitions, go for church attachment, get confirmed, act in a musical, DIRECT A MUSICAL, publish my own book, get a degree in psychology, get a masters in psychology, become a bestseller. I'll become stronger.

And maybe, just maybe, one day, like you, I'll get married. But I'd make a luckier gamble. I'll have children, more than one. I'll bring them to church every Sunday. I'd send them to school and back. I'll treasure them, sacrifice for them, sweat blood for them, just like you did. And I'll make them look up to you, and I'll tell them, "That's the woman that brought us where we are today. That's the woman."