Eloquently entwined in the dance of memories refined, are my smiling tears and your hand in mine.

Monday, April 26, 2010

When I look at this blog, I see so many words. So many words to write, too little time. Pictures say a thousand words. Songs sing a thousand verses. Imagine a world without human feeling. Words would be meaningless. Songs would just be a variation of pitches and vibrations. Pictures would just be a spectrum of colours, a sight...Nothing. And nothing should be nothing. We have already denied that possibility. That would indeed be a sad world. A lonely world of nothing.

God is the source of all love and grace. God is beyond human understanding. But all I know is that when there's no one left in the world for you, you're right. But there's someone in heaven; there's God.

Okay, so I think I'm going too far in the 'writing what I feel' concept in blogs. I mean, I think nobody really understands what I'm writing about. But I don't really care.

Veni,vidi,vici... 7:34 AM

Thursday, April 22, 2010

"Crkklll, crkklll, crkklll." That's the sound of my heart, breaking. A little crack here, a little fissure there. "Pliiiannnng!!" It splits into a gazillion minute shards, it reflects the incandescence of the pale blue moon. Fire fairies come, and dance across the pond, illuminating the murky green algae infested water. "Tling, tling, tling..." Their little magic wands sing as they gather the pieces of glass flying all over my sanctuary, my garden.

They plant these pieces of glass, and miraculous things begin to take place. An adorable looking orange lampost springs out of the ground and jumps towards me. It is old and rusted. "Scrikk, scrikk, scrikk.." It squeaks, it jumps, and it lands itself in the centre of the garden. It makes some child like laughter and it melts, "Krlsshhh..." The light it contains too bright for it's earthly body. It is yellow and white in hue, it's rays reaching out to me, it holds me in it's arms, I begin move around the light in a circular motion, drawn to it, held by it's gravity. It is still night, and yet, it is day. It is day, opening up.

Static shapes begin to appear in front of my eyes, emitting unearthly music. "Dance, dance, to the rhythm of the moon. Realise all of this love.. All of this love, you will have to give until it hurts.." They chant. The static shapes form translucent, flying whales in glorious shades of glittering turquoise and teal. Dragonflies with eyes of emerald, bodies of sliver, and their gossamer wings are intricately designed crystals join in the resounding rhapsody, flowing, and yet so jagged and distorted. The butterflies I find are gold in hue. In fact, it was so supernatural, that I don't know what colour they were anymore... They were just beautiful.

This is my sanctuary, my personal eden. When no one wants to say anything to me, I escape to this beautiful place of nothingness except for love. This is the place where there is no rejection, where I am not something at which people throw their insults and stupidity and hurtful words at. Here is my fantasy. Here is my personal eden.

Veni,vidi,vici... 2:48 AM

Forgivness, Christ?

Angel of light, dispel the dark. Chase away the shadows that lurk everywhere, for darkness is the abscence of light, as day is under the cloak of night. Reach out to me, hold me, and let me fly with you so I can escape this darkness swallowing me. For everything is passing so quickly and yet so slowly. The wind is rushing through my hair, as I fall down, down into the depths of the nothingness below me.

Yes, forgiveness, my child... Forgiveness.

_______________________________________________

The passage is from "The Hidden Consequence", which you can read here:
www.fictionpress.com/s/2782903/1/The_Hidden_Consequence

Review and support, thanks! :D

Veni,vidi,vici... 2:13 AM

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Ebb and flow with the soundbound wind.

I walk out of the school gate, literally pushed into a sea of swarming polka dots, the cacophony of voices filling my ears. I blocked out the sound almost immediately, plugging two black obnoxious looking ear plugs in. I stared out at the azure blue sky. Nobody was to take the bus with me that day. I looked out to the sky, and felt the wind blow south. Were you thinking of me?

For the sky that we look at is the same, wherever we are, whenever it is.

You are many people. You. You are my sworn sister, my best friend. You are a frog that you caught. You are a person who made me realise that a bassist is not a fish. You are the first person to cry for me. You are the person who created me. You are someone I rarely get to see, but most people see their version of you daily. You are someone whom I met on the first day of school. You are someone who I can only contact through facebook or MSN now. You are somewhere else, in Malaysia, England, somewhere far away. You are near, just a few metres away from me, in all your beauty. You are somewhere in Singapore, probably sms-ing your mother. You are somewhere. You are everywhere. Yet you... Are nowhere.

And the earth on which we stand on, it is the same.

It makes no sense, really, what is happening. I constantly think of you. You and your smile, your voice, the way you run, walk, laugh. The way you sing, you dance. The way your fingers move in an oh-so-graceful manner across the piano. The way you pressed my fingers over sharp strings, forcing me to learn how to play your favourite tune. The way you begged me to teach you how to draw manga eyes. The way you wanted to buy me a bracelet before we said goodbye; a beginning of a strange friendship. The way that you put your head on my shoulder in the rain, after the PSLE Listening Comprehension, and everyone thought that we were lesbians. The way you hugged me, called me 'mom' and asked me to cook Sakura's meat for you. The way you trashed me by over two-hundred points in scrabble. The way you shout "Don't touch me!" whenever I execute my ultimate magical touch. The way you insist that you are flowerpot one second and Mahatma Gandhi the next. The way we sat down together, sang, wrote a song & even tried to act professional. The way we played football with ice in the netball court. The way we sat on the chibi Als at VivoCity and contemplated the truth of life. The way you say "Silky shiny hair, whoo!" at disparately random moments in class. The way just a few days into secondary school, we went to McDonald's and I expressed my wish to have a simple life in this school. The way we walked to west mall under the setting sun, describing how the second Naruto Shippuden Opening, Blue Bird, describes our lives. The way... The way everything happens.

It is you.
I think of you.
And when will you realise, that all this while, I've been trying to say, "I love you."?
_______________________________________

Okay... So this is a dedication to everyone that I think of, especially those days when nobody takes the bus home with me. The wind always seems to blow south in my opinion. Probably, there's some mathematical explanation to that.
The reason why I express everyone as a 'you', is because I want these messages to be conveyed to you in a personal manner. You'd probably catch where you are. I mean, the people who are mentioned here. It'll be quite obvious, actually, to you. I mean, these are the memories I remember most. I wonder if you guys also think the same. Maybe I think too deep and too much about memories and small little incidents. I just hope it's not unreciprocated...

Veni,vidi,vici... 3:41 AM

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Once upon a time, there was an accident. It was coincidence. It was fate. That is how we met. Different people from different backgrounds, lives, schools came together and formed a band. Maybe we secretly don't like one member or another, but it is destined that we would share the same thoughts and interests. Nothing is just like that. Nothing has no explanation. Nothing is nothing.

I know, no matter how hard we try, we won't be able to [ P u l l o u r s e l v e s a p a r t] and we're gonna [sticktogetherlikeglue] for the rest of our secondary school lives, maybe even beyond it. This is because our fates are entwined, like tangled hair, like a DNA molecule, like a french braid, like a chord in a song, like onomatopoeia in a witty passage, like potatoes and cheese, like coffee and a rainy day.

It takes so much affinity to meet someone who would become a friend. It takes every step and every second, every breath and every heartbeat to be where we are today. We must treasure this affinity, and not lose sight of what we really gathered for; Friendship, love, music.

Broadcasted to THE BAND. Love all of you.

Veni,vidi,vici... 4:52 AM

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Is it a game, in which we have to survive?
Is it a play, in which we have to be a lead?
Is it a dance, in which we move vigorously to tire ourselves out?
Is it a song, where our voice overpowers everyone else's?
Is it a story, where we get the most paragraphs?
Is it a sum, where our step is the most important?
Is it an experiment, where we gamble our chances away?

Yes, and no.

It is a game, in which we find companions and have fun.
It is a play, where we make the most of our roles, and leave a stain on others.
It is a dance, where we move in the continuous flow of God's grace.
It is a song, where we sing in harmony with the rest, like sticky honey.
It is a story, where we get the most meaningful quotes, ones to be remembered.
It is a sum, where we think and feel happy with the answer in the end.
It is an experiment, where we find out how many little ways our blessings come to us.

Such is life.

Veni,vidi,vici... 4:43 AM

Friday, April 2, 2010

I felt your honey glazed eyes pierce my soul,
I swear that I had turned jello,
Your sarcasm laden words ring in my mind,
My heartbeat gets faster and faster each time.

Run away, fight these gilded butterflies,
Escape, escape into the darkest night,
Why are you my fantasy,
With that beautiful smile of yours which isn't for me?

Because I'd throw it all away,
Just for one day,
Where I can be you, and you can be me.

Crying, another form of smiling.
Smiling, another form of crying.
Look at that Lady Luck
She is really such a slut,
She got you to her privies.
With red rose buds and lilies.

A warped image in the mirror,
You once used to love her.
But now, another one is her paramour.
My stomach now churns.

I cooked the potatoes,
With giant tomatoes,
And found out you were a celery,
Who for flus, you were a remedy.
But I had a fever,
And I pulled the lever,
I took the celery,
Now, I couldn't any worse be,
Because I should have taken the carrot.
With an 'O' of realisation,I shouted out,
"Carrot cake, I cannot live without!"

I am at an internal war with myself.
Because Bob likes the colour blue; one of skies, of calmness, of water.
Because Yasmine likes the colour yellow; one of pee, of brigtness, of lighters.
Because Peggy likes the colour purple; one of grapes, of stubborness, of blue-blacks.
Because Ronnie likes the colour red; one of hatred, of anger, of knick-knacks.
Because Winnie likes the colour white; one of calmness, of poltergeists and lonliness.
Because Getrude likes the colour green; of envious passion, nature and inadequateness.
Because Sally likes the colour silver, of coins, of magic and of coolness.
Because Germain likes the colour gold, of success, of grandeur and of epicness.
---

What the hell was all that about? LOL. Some random stuff that came to my mind after eating too much heavily concentrated gummies and after reading Hamlet. The Lady Luck one was heavily influenced by Hamlet. And the colours one was heavily infulenced by Jessica. :D

Veni,vidi,vici... 9:34 AM

Okayy... So yeah.
I wasn't invited to a certain party and was pissed about that this morning.
But the day brightened up when I realised that it was good friday and we're all supposed to be innocent, well-behaved little girls on good friday, so phsyeah.

Onto the main issue.

Since it IS good friday, might as well go to church, RIGHHTT? So I went to church. Actually I mean, I RAN to church in a HEAVY DOWNPOUR in what is supposed to be my PAJAMAS.

I arrived there dry though, I don't know why. Is there a possibility that I am not porous? *Dramatic, epic music in the background, accompanied by a dramatic chipmunk/sheep/gopher/whatever the hell that was with a ligtsaber, wearing a tutu.*

I arrived late, and to my horror, mass already started. And thus, I went on a mini hyperventilation attack, looking for Bern. Then, I saw her and her mom, with their signature manners, hairstyle, specs and height. When I finally settled down, this little kid in front of me was trying to deny the crucifixtion of Christ by saying that, "Jesus' hands were already nailed to the cross, so there is no way that he could have carried the cross." Apparently, this lil genius is gonna grow up to be a great... Debator? I dunno... Then when we did the intercession thing (rise, kneel, rise, kneel), he kept on droning on and on about the priest. Then during the gospel, I commented that THE VOICE sounded really constipated. My comment, apparently, cause Bern to ahem, burst out in laughter. (?!) Oh well, knavish speeches sleep in foolish ears. Fortunately she understands the word 'constipated'.

I guess the day sounded rather lame and retarded as well, apart from me entertaining Bern with a long, witty, dedication to the Hair of Fiona. And mooing sheep and pies. Oh, and Loo Loo too. :D

Which I will, of course, include in the INNER INTERVIEW post.

Veni,vidi,vici... 9:11 AM